I hate that as I am going thru a bad time with recovering from reconstruction that family adversity is everywhere. What I hate even more is the expectation that forgiveness for such horrific acts is immediate and unwavering.....Why would I hold my family, my core of people who have seen me both prosper and struggle to a lower standard then a stranger? I feel completely the opposite; since these people also have access to my weaknesses I feel that they should be held to a higher standard not one lower.
I am very tired, my children are all but one grown and on to their own lives, I don't move closer not because I can't but why. It seems I'm a handy notion of a being and distance preserves memories so much better lately.
My childhood was stolen not once but twice when my mother passed and my sister took EVERY picture of my childhood. My mom holding and playing with me, my brother pushing me in a carriage, my father holding me as a young man, now an old man and not one picture to cherish. I hope she rots in hell. My husbands family just where does the lying stop and the deceit end? I really am at a loss for words at how disconnected I feel at all that has happened.
some people are really shitbags for sure.
